Child contact arrangements at Christmas — 6 top tips for separated parents

Originally published on 10 December 2024 and updated on 21 November 2025.

Christmas can be one of the most difficult times of the year for separated parents and their extended families. Balancing diaries, family expectations and traditions often creates tension and children can feel like they’re caught in the middle. 

Here, Amy Harris shares some top tips to help families to co‑parent amicably and organise child contact arrangements during the festive period. 

1. Plan in advance & be flexible

It’s important to start thinking about festive arrangements as early as possible. Planning ahead gives the other parent time to consider and respond to your proposals, increasing the chances of a mutual decision. Open lines of communication are essential — in-person discussions often work best where possible, but if you’re communicating in writing, be mindful of how your email or message will be interpreted by the other parent. Flexibility can go a long way in preventing conflict. 

2. Decide on a schedule that works for your family

It’s generally in a child’s best interests to spend time with both parents over the festive period. However, if there are concerns about domestic abuse, then this may not be appropriate. The arrangements may vary for each child based on individual circumstances.

While the details of what that time may look like can be tricky, there’s no single ‘blueprint’ to follow — the arrangements just need to be child-focused. Some families share the festive period so that children can spend time with both parents while others alternate year by year. Wider family dynamics also matter as children may want to spend time with siblings, stepsiblings, grandparents or cousins. It can be a diary juggle, but the priority is what works best for your child.

3. Consult older children 

Older children often have their own views about where they want to spend their time over the festive period. If it's appropriate, take their wishes and feelings into account. However, it’s vital that children aren’t brought into adult discussions or involved in any parental conflict. 

4. Consider traditions

Christmas traditions are special for both children and parents, so try to continue them where possible. While it can be tempting to do what you’ve always done, following relationship breakdown, don’t be afraid to do something different — this is an opportunity to create new traditions and memories.

5. Be prepared to negotiate

If you can’t agree straight away, keep trying. If required, take a step back and ensure that you're prioritising the needs of your children. Co‑parenting naturally comes with challenges and it’s easy to get caught up in your own view of what feels ‘right’. Often, finding a way forward means compromise — and that’s what helps you to reach an agreement that works for everyone.

6. Explore non‑court dispute resolution

There are a number of non‑court options available to help families to reach an agreement on child contact arrangements including solicitor‑led negotiations, mediation and arbitration. These approaches encourage cooperation and keep the focus on the children. Having the benefit of legal advice can guide you and your former partner towards a mutually acceptable solution without the stress and expense of court proceedings. Court should always be considered a last resort, though for some families a formal order may be necessary.

Talk to us

If you’re struggling to agree on contract arrangements for your children at Christmas and feel that a formal agreement would help, our specialist family law solicitors can support you. As members of Resolution, we’re committed to a child‑first, non‑confrontational approach. We can advise on the most suitable way forward — whether that’s negotiations, mediation or arbitration — and help families to reach agreements that allow them to relax and enjoy the festive period.

Talk to us by giving us a call on 0333 004 4488, sending us an email at hello@brabners.com or completing our contact form below.